Slander

Before I begin this post, two things about me:

1)  I am a dosa FREAK.  If offered Penelope Cruz and a masala dosa, I’d choose the latter.

2)  The dosa/masala dosa referred to in point 1 refers ONLY to those that are made in Bangalore’s and Mysore’s darshinis.  Nothing else matters.  Really.

I had been to Gurgaon today.  After making my way through the floors of Central, I reached the food court at the top.  Even before I set foot into the food court, a familiar smell wafted through the air.  ‘No! It can’t be!’, I thought, for I smelled the same wonderful smell that Dosa Camp in Jayanagar in Bangalore is associated with (and one that is hard wired into me now).  I straightaway ran to the counter and scanned the menu.  75 bucks for a Mysore masala dosa it said.  (Yes Bangaloreans, here dosas cost significantly more…)

Having ordered one, I decided to engage myself in another wonderful pastime, watching a batch of dosas being made.  And then it began.

The moron of a chef first took the batter and spread it like it was a contest of how much area of the tawa one can cover with batter.  An utter violation already – A MYSORE MASALA DOSA IS NEVER PAPER THIN!  After the palya had gone in, the genius folded it and, hold your breath, cut it into 6 pieces.  A MYSORE MASALA DOSA IS NOT A WANNABE SPRING ROLL!  When the plate containing this mess was handed to me I shot a desperate and utterly cynical ‘Is this Mysore Masala Dosa?!’ at the chef.  He didn’t catch the point.  Just a blank nod of the head.  Every expletive that I knew came rushing to my head.

The dosa was like a ragged, squirming leper instead of the majestic warrior that it was supposed to be.  Excuse the description, but you get the drift… 🙂  The chutney and sambar were deplorable as well.  The place called itself ‘Not just dosas’.  Damn!!! I should have understood right away!

STATUTORY WARNING:  If you are hungry in Delhi and Gurgaon, please please stick to parathas/pronthas and chaat.

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6 Comments

  1. Akshay N R said,

    July 20, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    Ha Ha!
    Too bad you learnt it the hard way!
    But come to think of it, I now wonder, who it was that first made the masala dosa. I mean you can make a palya with potato. You can make a palya with onion. But the idea to mix them up and in turn, put them inside a dosa- I really wonder which genius came up with that….

  2. Lamasa Soda said,

    July 23, 2008 at 6:42 am

    After the expensive pulav comes the news of the expensive dosa. Atleast the expensive pulav was tasty (I think). So how much per bite?

  3. ansvad said,

    July 23, 2008 at 6:47 am

    @ akshay: True. It is a creation of genius.
    @ tish: fool! why some arbit pseudonyms?!

  4. namrata prasad said,

    July 23, 2008 at 6:31 pm

    very true..but it works the same way the other way round too..m sure northies would cringe when they eat the north indian food down south!

  5. wanderlust said,

    August 3, 2008 at 11:00 am

    @namrata prasad:
    while they don’t get authentic kumaoni/garhwali food, it isn’t as bad as south indian food up north.

  6. Arvind Venkaesh said,

    August 20, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    I agree with you but I partly blame you as well. Instead of going to authentic South Indian joints like Sagar Ratna in Delhi of all the places to go to in Gurgaon you eat at the food court in the mall. Actually you know what serves you right!!
    haha


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